


An Unwanted Visitor

by Fallen_Star



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Ghosts, M/M, Paranormal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4350254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallen_Star/pseuds/Fallen_Star
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was when people started getting dragged out of their beds, and kitchen cupboards started flying open and knocking people out, that they really started to consider the possibility of something paranormal. Uchiha Fugaku was a man set in his ways, however when he was woken by the screams of his youngest son and opened his bedroom door to see him go flying through the air like a rag doll, even he had to stop and admit that this wasn’t something that could be explained away through logic and reasoning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unwanted Visitor

**Author's Note:**

> I watched every Paranormal Activity film today and this is what happened. The ShiIta is there but it's not a major plot point, I just really, really enjoy writing the Uchiha family.

When it started, they passed it off as no big deal: bumps and creaks in the night that could be explained away by the old architecture, doors slamming shut randomly that was blamed on the wind, books falling off shelves or items being found in the middle of the floor when they were left on the counter were clearly caused by the cat, or by gravity itself. There were plenty of times when Sasuke complained of nightmares, or of hearing heavy breathing, which their parents were adamant were symptoms of an eleven year old’s imagination.

It was when people started getting dragged out of their beds, and kitchen cupboards started flying open and knocking people out, that they really started to consider the possibility of something paranormal. Uchiha Fugaku was a man set in his ways, however when he was woken by the screams of his youngest son and opened his bedroom door to see him go flying through the air like a rag doll, even he had to stop and admit that this wasn’t something that could be explained away through logic and reasoning. Mikoto tried time and time again to convince her husband to call a priest, or a psychic or someone, but the Uchiha are a proud family and had the unfortunate habit of insisting on solving their problems themselves.

The issue really picked up, however, when Mikoto and Fugaku had an engagement out of town which they simply couldn’t miss, meaning that they left Itachi in charge of the house for a couple of days. The elder brother called in reinforcements and that was how, at seven o’clock on a Saturday night, four Uchihas and one Hatake (who Itachi did _not_ invite) could be found cowering together in the corner of the living room as couch cushions were flung at them and furniture fell from the sky seemingly at random.

The day started pretty much as it normally did, Sasuke and Itachi saying farewell to their parents before the younger brother begged for pancakes until Itachi obliged him. It was around midday, when Sasuke was happily swimming in the pool outside, that Itachi was minding his own business and reading a book on the sofa when he felt breath on his neck two seconds before the couch tipped over and he found himself face down on the floor with a mouthful of Stephen King literature. Scowling and promising himself that he would call for help personally if his father still refused to when he returned, Itachi picked himself up off the floor just in time for Sasuke to come skidding in yelling about hearing a loud crash. When he saw his older brother struggling with the couch he laughed a little, but did help eventually (after taking a picture on his phone to send to Shisui/ to save as blackmail). It was at this moment, when the sofa was back in it’s proper place and Itachi had searched his mouth for paper cuts and found none, that Itachi pulled out his phone and called first his cousin, who agreed to come over as soon as the words were out of his mouth, and then his uncle, who ummed and ahhed until Itachi promised to make him oreo cheesecake. When Obito turned up with his work colleague Kakashi in tow, Itachi did debate calling the whole thing off and demanding they all leave, but then he saw that Kakashi had brought three of his nine dogs along and decided the extra protection was worth the sacrifice of spending an evening with the man.

It was around half five when Shisui arrived, looking excited with a family sized bag of doritos in one hand and an ouija board in the other.

“What is that?” Itachi stared at the game in his cousin’s hands as though it would somehow cause it to disappear, unbelieving that Shisui had actually brought it with him. It was pink and it had unicorns on it, and for some reason that made the idea of using it ten times more frightening.

“It’s an ouija board. You use it to-”

“I know what it’s for. We’re not using it.” He crossed his arms and stepped aside to let Shisui into the house, catching Sasuke’s eye and disliking the interest he found there.

“It’s for talking with ghosts right? Let’s do it.” Shisui turned to Sasuke with a bright grin.

“This is why you’re my favourite cousin. Yes, let’s do it.”

“Absolutely not. Obito, talk some sense into them.”

“Hm?” Itachi turned towards his uncle and saw him sitting at the coffee table, crossed legged with the board in front of him, holding up the planchette in his hand and looking at the rest of them expectantly. Sighing and wondering why he ever thought Obito of all people would talk any sense into anyone, Itachi gave up and went to join the others as they sat around the table, Shisui wiggling with excitement.

“Before we start, for the record, I said this was a bad idea from the get go.” Itachi looked around at them all, glaring a little at Kakashi’s stupid innocent face as he ripped open the bag of doritos, before huffing and slumping back when all he got in return were smiles and shrugs.

“Let’s get it over with.”

“Okay, who wants to do the talking?” Obito looked expectantly at Itachi, who raised an eyebrow in denial, before turning to Sasuke, who nodded excitedly. They all moved to place a hand on the planchette, getting onto their knees for better leverage and leaning over so they could see the letters and phrases on the board. Itachi eyed up one particularly mean looking fairy, and hoped beyond all hope that this wouldn’t work.

“Um. Is there anyone here with us?” Sasuke sounded uncertain, his voice wavering as he stared at the board in front of him. It seemed as though everyone was holding their breath, waiting for some form of movement.

They got it, but perhaps not in the form they had hoped. The planchette suddenly flew from their grasps and hit Kakashi directly on the forehead, making him fall backwards with an ‘ _ooof_ ’. The others sat and stared at their motionless friend for a while before Shisui started to roar with laughter, swinging an arm around Sasuke as though needing the support, and Itachi couldn’t help but chuckle a little himself, unreasonably happy that their ghost had chosen Kakashi as it’s target.

“Urg, what the hell.” Kakashi rose from the floor with some help from a giggling Obito, clutching and rubbing his red forehead. The silver haired man turned with a glare towards the largest of his dogs, Bull, as though affronted he hadn’t been offered any protection, but the dog just stared back from his position on the floor, uninterested. Itachi snorted, remembering everything he’d read about children and animals being more susceptible to the supernatural and realising most of it was complete crap. Although to be fair, from what he’d seen of this particular haunting, almost everything you read on the internet is bullshit.

“Well, I think that concludes this ridiculous idea. Fajitas?” Everyone turned to stare at him as he stood, walking towards the kitchen determined to put all of this behind him and enjoy an evening with his favourite family members. Casually kicking closed the kitchen cupboard that swung open as he walked past, and catching the frying pan as it fell off the hanging pan rack, Itachi went towards the fridge for the ingredients he needed, ignoring the heavy silence behind him as the others (excluding Sasuke who had grown just as used to these incidences as Itachi had) gaped at what they were witnessing.

It was around this time, as Itachi prepared the vegetables and the others slowly got used to the fact that every once in a while a book would fall off the shelf, that Kakashi’s seemingly only reliable dog, Pakkun, began to bark persistently. All attempts at shushing him failed, and then Sasuke went to the bathroom and came back two seconds later, clearly confused.

“Where’s all the furniture in the guest room gone?” Itachi frowned, he’d been in there two hours ago at the most and everything was as it should have been.

“What?” He walked around the kitchen island, pausing as his knife fell to the ground in front of him so as not to be stabbed in the foot, and followed Sasuke towards the bedroom, the others trailing behind as though afraid to be anywhere Itachi or Sasuke weren’t. When they reached the room Itachi paused, staring at the empty space in wonder.

But not for long, as all the furniture came crashing down from the ceiling, the bed falling into pieces as it hit the floor. All five of them threw up their arms to cover their faces as wooden splinters flew into the air, a small terrified scream from Shisui and a loud curse from Obito. Sasuke had flown into Itachi’s arms, staring wide eyed at the damage.

“Mum is not gonna be happy.” The youngest Uchiha clearly had his priorities straight.

“Nope. Maybe this will encourage them to move house.”

“Let’s hope so.” Shisui was doing some heavy breathing next to them, so Itachi reached out a hand and patted his cousin on the back, forgetting that not everyone had been exposed to this kind of activity for the past few months like him and Sasuke had.

“This is fucking crazy. Do you guys wanna stay with me? I can set up the blow up mattresses and stuff in my living room.”

“No, that’s okay. We’ll stick together here.” Itachi was nothing if not a stubborn person: as a family they had agreed that they would ignore the problem, pretend it wasn’t there and that it wasn’t bothering them, in the hopes that it would go away. Itachi was aware that this advice stemmed from research his mother had done on the internet, which had been proven wrong time and time again, but he was quite determined not to show this thing that he was bothered, and if that meant staying here then so be it. Luckily for him, Sasuke was just as thick headed as he was, if not more so.

“Suit yourselves. _I’m_ not fucking staying here.”

“Yes, you are, for tonight at least. You’re gonna stay with Sasuke, Shisui is gonna stay with me, and Kakashi is gonna stay in the living room with the dogs.”

“Mah, why do you hurt me this way? I can stay in your parents room with Obito, this little brat doesn’t look keen on the idea of sharing his bed anyway.” Kakashi smiled sweetly (and sarcastically) at Sasuke, who scowled.

“Exactly, I’m not sharing my bed.” Itachi sighed and rubbed his head in irritation, wondering not for the first time what it would be like to have a normal family.

“Alright, fine. But you’re all staying.” A hand latched onto his arm.

“I don’t wanna.” Shisui pouted, eyes still looking in horror at the destruction in the bedroom.

“Get over it.” Itachi began a staring match with Shisui as Kakashi moved away, his damn dog still barking, getting louder and louder. He came back a moment later and stood looking at Itachi and Shisui, until Itachi broke his gaze in irritation and turned to Kakashi.

“What?”

“Hm? Oh, the living room furniture is on the ceiling.”

“What?! Why didn’t you say something before?” Itachi turned towards the living room and kitchen, hoping that it really was only the sofas and stuff, and that he wouldn’t have to explain to his parents why half the family was wiped out from flying knives out of the kitchen.

“You looked busy.” Itachi shot a glare behind him, pausing in the doorway and looking up slowly to see that the furniture was, indeed, on the ceiling.

“God, that’s so fucking weird.” They were all standing there staring, when one of the couch cushions fell to the floor, coming to rest by Itachi’s feet. They all looked down in unison to consider this, before glancing up once more in time to see a leg from the coffee table come flying towards them.

“Shit!” They ducked in time, but this was when all hell broke loose, and eventually they were pushed to stand huddled in the corner, Sasuke in the middle of them as was his right as the youngest, hands over their heads and occasionally letting out a small squeak of terror, although somewhere in all the commotion Obito had started to laugh, albeit slightly hysterically and not really a sound of joy or fun, and more a sound of utter madness.

Eventually, everything came to a standstill and they turned back to observe the damage. Seeing the state of the living room, and not being able to help himself from seeing places and objects where his family could have died if they’d been standing in the way, Itachi turned to his uncle.

“Your offer still stands right?”

“Hells yes, let’s get out of here.”

 

* * *

 

Naturally, when Fugaku and Mikoto returned they were aghast at the state of the house, and finally agreed that something needed to be done, and that they were not the ones to be able to do it. And so, five days after the disastrous ouija incident, a psychic came to their house, spouting bullshit about how most of it could be explained by drafts or paranoid and stressful minds - until a bible fell off the shelf and hit him on the head, then he started taking things a little more seriously. Itachi couldn’t help but appreciate that, if they had to have a ghost, at least they got one with a sense of humour.

The psychic told them pretty much what they already knew - that there was a ghost in the house, and that the best thing to do was ignore it and not try to communicate with it. Upon being told of the ouija board incident, he emphasised this. Apparently, although some ghosts did try to get in contact with people because they wanted something or needed help, theirs sounded more like a poltergeist and so being in contact would probably do more harm than good. Itachi did attempt to explain to the man that it was difficult to ignore something that dragged him out of bed at three in the morning, but this fell on deaf ears. He was tempted to tell the man to sleep one night in this house and then try to tell them to ignore what was happening, but the poor man looked like he was going to keel over just from being in there for half an hour, so he let him off.

Apparently in most cases like this the activity would just stop abruptly, and seemingly at random, so Itachi couldn’t help but hope that this would come sooner rather than later - he had important exams coming next month and he couldn’t study for them in a house where books would randomly set themselves alight.

True to the psychic’s word, the activity did die down. There was still the occasional bump in the night, and a few times when Itachi felt someone brush against him that wasn’t there (one memorable time in the shower, that had been a wholly unpleasant experience), but there were no more pieces of furniture crashing down from the ceiling, and most of the time the cupboards stayed shut like they were supposed to. Of course, their luck being as it was, it couldn’t stay this way forever.

Itachi being the one most down on his luck of everyone, their friend decided to get up to his old habits at a time when just he and Shisui were at home, at an entirely inconvenient time.

Itachi’s bed was big, so big it almost seemed too big at times when he was asleep in the middle and really had to pee: fighting the covers to get off the bed was quite a feat when they were large enough to keep four people warm. That being said, there were some times when Shisui could get a little enthusiastic and the next thing they knew they were on the floor, although this happened less and less as Itachi grew older and stronger, being able to stop Shisui from rolling him around so much. It was one of these such times, when the boys were using the absence of anyone in the house to their advantage, that Shisui was, for lack of a better word, felt up by someone who wasn’t strictly speaking there.

Shisui was lying on top of Itachi cradled between his legs, and as things got heated Itachi’s hands had tangled themselves in his hair and the back of his shirt. So, when Shisui lifted his head from Itachi’s shoulder and complained that he not squeeze his ass so hard, Itachi had to pause for a moment and wonder when on earth his hands had moved there. When he looked down and realised that they hadn’t, in fact, moved without his permission, he gave Shisui an odd look.

“How many hands do you think I have? I haven’t squeezed you anywhere.” Shisui pulled back further and seemed to evaluate the situation, his eyes narrowing in contemplation, before he let out an undignified yelp and curled up on Itachi’s chest (or as much as he could) uncomfortably.

“Your pervert ghost is feeling me up!” Itachi raised an eyebrow and made an attempt to push his cousin off him, only succeeding in tipping them both over on their sides, Shisui still clutching to him.

“How are you ever going to be a policeman if you can’t handle a little fear?” Itachi sighed and looked closely around his room for anything that appeared off, but couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He knew that Shisui probably wouldn’t make this up, but he couldn’t help but feel that this would be a strange time for the ghost to decide to return from its hibernation.

“Look, humans I can deal with in any shape or form. Ghosts, hell no, count me out.” He was still clinging, although one hand was covering his butt in a way that Itachi couldn’t help but laugh at a little.

“Don’t laugh at me! I just got violated.”

“Shisui, are you sure?”

“I think I can tell the difference between someone squeezing my ass and someone not.” Shisui turned a glare on Itachi, who sighed and forced his cousin to let go of him so he could sit up. He threw up his arms in exasperation.

“Nothing’s happening.” As if on cue, all the DVDs on his shelf suddenly exploded out, making the two boys jump. Shisui got nailed in the nose by a Lord of the Rings DVD, and Itachi narrowly avoided getting knocked out when his Parks and Recreation boxset came flying at his head. Shisui turned to Itachi, one hand holding his bleeding nose, with a wholly unimpressed look on his face.

“I hate to say I told you so, Itachi, but I _fucking told you so_.” Itachi grimaced at him, pulling his hand away from his face so he could see.

“We need to get some ice on that.” They made their way downstairs, Shisui walking as though he were in a mission impossible movie, looking round every corner as though expecting to see something standing there waiting for him. Once they got to the kitchen, however, Itachi couldn’t help but laugh out loud this time. The freezer was dripping, it’s doors open, completely defrosted. He knew his mother would be fuming about all the wasted food, but right now all he could think about was how much Shisui needed something frozen, and their friendly poltergeist had apparently decided that it wouldn’t be happening. Shisui seemed to have drawn the same conclusion, although he was significantly less amused.

“Your ghost has it in for me.” Itachi snorted again.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Let’s go to yours for ice, you really need some.”

“Sure, if it lets me leave. Maybe it has a crush on you.” Itachi rolled his eyes at this, turning to look at Shisui with a disbelieving expression, not needing to speak any words to let Shisui know how ridiculous that was.

“I’m serious! That’s probably why it attacked me, cause I was macking on its man!” Shisui looked way too serious for the direction this conversation was taking, but Itachi couldn’t help but laugh, gesturing to his cousin to follow him out the front door, pausing when Shisui pulled him in for a quick kiss. They both jumped when all the saucepans fell to the floor at the same time, Itachi laughing sheepishly and pulling his cousin out the door, scared his point would actually be proven right.

After this incident, things started to pick up again, to the point where Fugaku and Mikoto actually decided to put the house up for sale. It was worse this time around, Itachi was dragged down the stairs more times than he could count, and Sasuke started to wake up with bruises. Mikoto refused to even step foot in the kitchen after having her expensive, very sharp knives thrown at her from all angles. Fugaku himself was the victim of a vicious series of hair pulling, as well as having all his papers in his office set on fire. That was a difficult incident to explain to his coworkers.

So, the house was put up for sale. They went through about five estate agents before giving up, seeing as how there was no way they would be able to sell the house if anyone who set foot in there ran out within ten minutes, clutching at their heads where a book had fallen on it, or limping from being clipped by a randomly open cupboard. Eventually, they had to count their losses and accept that, while this activity was happening, they would just have to stick with it.

They started to adjust, and as they did, the occurrences changed. Sasuke no longer woke with bruises, but he did find himself locked out of the bathroom more than once, and a couple of times even got locked out of the house when he went to pick up the paper from outside. Itachi was still getting dragged out of bed, but it was no longer down the stairs (he’d picked up a nifty trick where he wrapped all his limbs around the bannister and didn’t let go) but into Sasuke’s room, where he was dragged under the bed and left there. Mikoto started to cook again, and the ghost actually grew somewhat helpful for her, opening drawers before she got to them and dropping the saucepans she would actually need. It was typical of her, really, considering she managed to charm the least social person on the planet (Fugaku), it wasn’t really too much of a surprise that their visitor had taken a shining to her. Fugaku didn’t get any more fires in his office, although the hair pulling did still continue somewhat, but he did have many mornings when he would go downstairs and find that all his coffee was spilled on the floor.

Eventually, they adjusted even to these intrusions. Sasuke started to hide keys everywhere he could think of outside the house, he even gave a spare pair to his friend Naruto, and the lock on the bathroom door was removed; Itachi got into the habit of grabbing his pillow whenever he was pulled from slumber, tending to just fall asleep wherever he was placed, and also placed a pillow fort around his bed to soften the landing; and Fugaku tended to buy his coffee on his way to work now, rather than having a cup at home. It took a long time to convince Shisui to come over again, and even longer to convince him to come when everyone else was out, but eventually he too settled into the routine, and began to learn the basics, such as keeping an eye on your feet when you’re walking past the bathroom because sometimes it flooded, and watching the bookshelves as he walked past them because too many people had been knocked out by flying encyclopaedias.

Life would never be _normal_ in the Uchiha household, but then again even without a paranormal entity this wouldn’t have been possible. Their poltergeist was even kind enough to actually leave them alone when they had people round, not all the time but sometimes, and although most frequent visitors got their own personal annoyance they also grew used to it.

Shisui was not impressed that every time he came round his ass got grabbed, but seeing as how Obito received a pillow to the face and a kitchen cupboard to the groin, Itachi figured his cousin should stop complaining.

  
  



End file.
